Have you seen this creature?
URGENT!
Multiple sightings reported near Bailey, CO
Over the past several months, hikers, camper, and local residents have reported sightings of an unidentified creature throughout the Colorado Mountains.
Witness descriptions include:
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Height: 7-9 ft tall
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Strong odor
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Large footprints
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No collar
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Avoids human contact
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Possibly attracted to beer and beef jerky
High Strangeness
HIGH STRANGENESS is an upcoming Colorado comedy feature film shooting this August.
Somewhere between a missing hiker, a deeply unqualified sheriff’s department, and a possible Bigfoot encounter, things got wildly out of hand.
When Bailey's Finest are called to duty,
the duty hits the fan.
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"We found huge footprints outside the Brewery. It might have been a Texan"
"Something was circling the cabin all night making horrible sounds. Jake had a ton of tequila the night before, but he swears it wasn't him."
"Large hairy creature reported crossing 285. Carrying a kayak."
"It was big. Hairy. It took our cooler."
"It smelled like Cheetos and whiskey."
"I gave him my number."
"There was a light above his head and then boom - it sucked him up. Gone."
"He wasn't as tall as people say. Like 7'10" maybe."
Bailey's Sheriff's Office:
Residents are reminded not to offer alcohol to unidentified woodland bipeds.
Colorado Parks & Wildlife:
We cannot confirm the existence of Bigfoot. Have a nice day.
